A brief rant. I am afraid. It’s 8:16 in the morning. I am trying to do my due diligence as a writer by reading consistently, everyday. But today I am terrified. I just finished a New Yorker fiction piece about a nursing home in Singapore detailing the lives of its…

You have to exercise. You have to make sure you’re eating the right foods. You have to cook. You have to have a job. You have to do your job. Oh, you don’t have a job. You have to find a job. You have to fix up a resume. You…

Break down my food first? How about I break down you? — By Ian Goldstein and Ryan Ciecwisz Let me get this straight: you want me to chew my food before swallowing? No. All my life I would see a plate of food, put it in my mouth, and let gravity finish the process. But now you’re asking me to use these…

It’s not exactly retirement, but it’s close. By Ian Goldstein and Ryan Ciecwisz 4:00 am Wake up. Remind internal clock I am no longer CEO and don’t have to wake up so early. 4:02 am Warn internal clock that one more slip up like that and I’ll replace it with an Amazon basics alarm…

Life is a never-ending series of prestigious lists you don’t qualify for. — By Ian Goldstein and Sam Corbin People’s List of Sexiest Men Alive Even though you’ve been (relatively) sexy and (relatively) alive for over thirty years now, you’ve been repeatedly snubbed on this list. You’ve made your peace with it. The Fortune 500 List You’ve long resigned yourself to the fact that you’ll never make enough to pay off your student…

Over the last few years, comedy writer Mike Sacks, author of NYTimes bestseller Poking a Dead Frog, has begun publishing comedic novelizations of fake movies. His 2017 release, Stinker Lets Loose!, was a novelization to a fake trucking movie from the ’70s, in Passable In Pink, it was a John…

The world must know you can ride a bike. — So you can ride a bike. Amazing. This means it’s the perfect time to purchase a professional cycling outfit to show the world how well you sport tight spandex. But the inevitable question arises: When exactly should I wear my new cycling outfit? …

Speaking with the Toronto native about finding her voice in comedy. Jhanelle Dennis balances her time performing standup, working in talent acquisition for CBS, and hosting a weekly Instagram series called “Pull Up” with @leahabrahams. Jhanelle also produces and co-hosts a podcast called I’M TRYING! …

Why can’t I finish anything? I start. I start reading. I start writing. But for nearly thirty years I have been unable to finish a damn thing. I probably won’t finish this. Who’s even prolific? People with agents. That’s who. The people who get their work seen by people who…